How To Be Good To Ourselves

I think a lot of the time, in everyone’s day-to-day lives they get caught up in the expectations of the people around them. Whether it be work, home, family, friends or self obligations that are real or imaginary. These can wear a person down and make them feel as though they are not living for themselves. I find a majority of my obligations are self-imposed and end up causing me more grief than anything else. Over the past year I have found some various things that have made my life easier, not to mention lessen the clutter in my mind mentally and emotionally,

Know who you want around you – Who are you willing to spend time with in your life? Time is a precious thing and it is better to choose to spend it with those people who do not weigh you down.  I find too often people give too much of themselves to friends or co-workers and they become worn down. They listen to the same problems for weeks, months and even years.  I used to do this with a few of my friends who were always negative. In the end, I was drained from listening to them complain about life all the time, while never really doing anything to change their life.  I have made the conscious choice to now surround myself with people who are positive and I enjoy being with each time I see them. Another important part of knowing who you want around you is surrounding yourself with people who listen to you and you listen to them. It is a two-way street. I am very blessed to have a few people like that in my life.

Don’t be hard on yourself – You didn’t get everything you wanted to get done in a day done, oh well. It isn’t the end of the world. You didn’t finish the project you were working on in the time frame you set, it doesn’t matter. The important thing to remember is not to give up. Continue working on what you need or want to work on, if it really is important to you, you will finish it. If you find yourself becoming discouraged, make a list of all the things you have accomplished that you are proud of and take a look at this list each time you find yourself being too hard about what you haven’t done.

Find something you can lose yourself in – By this I mean, find a hobby or something where you can forget all the stress or negativity that happened that day. This can be reading, writing, exercising, crafting or whatever else you are called to do. Get in touch with the side of you that wants to relax and let go.

Express yourself – Do not, I repeat do not hold your emotions inside. This causes too much grief and stress in the end. I am not saying go all volcano like and explode, what I am saying is when you feel an emotion any type of emotion and it is something that you think you need to share with someone, then do so. It will make you feel better and if the person cares about you what you said to them will not change how they feel about you.

Perception – Realize that everyone around you may not see the situation the same way that you do. Realize that even though something seems clear to you or one way to you, the person you are talking with may not see it the same way. Communicate and if their perception is so different then your own, that is ok. It is their perception, do not take it personally.

Breathe and focus on the now – Take time each day to become aware of your breathing, it helps you focus on the here and now. Live in the moment and don’t worry about the future. You are here now. You will never be in this moment again in your entire life. Take in each sensation of that moment.

Let go of fear – I have struggled with this one for so long. This past year I have tried working through my fear and facing the scary things in my life, which mainly involve talking and expressing myself. Facing your fears can be any type of fear – fear of getting close to someone, fear of heights, fear of spiders etc.

Find the joy in life – Find the things in life that bring joy to you. I find my joy in laughter and in nature. Those two things are what fill my heart with joy. I have other things as well but those two are near the top.

Most important live and love with everything you have. It is your life choose what makes you happy and realize sometimes what you do that makes you happy may not always make others in  your life happy, but it is your life – live it.


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