I realized today that I seem to thrive in chaos. When life is calm and goin well I actually panic and worry that something is going to go wrong. I am trying to learn how to be okay with being calm. Part of me really wants to be calm and just go with it but the other part of me tries to keep things chaotic. If things are too calm then it is like I am walking in a mine-field, just waiting for the explosion.
I am not sure when I developed the need for chaos, but all I know is that I am tired of it. I am ready for my life to be calm and I am determined to find a healthy way to relax my expectations, to find my inner calm and allow it to flow into all aspects of my life.
Adairmoon 