My life is pretty fabulous because I am finally myself again, like 100% myself again….as in, rocking it as myself. Okay, okay enough enthusiasm.
The largest contributing factor to my life being fabulous at the moment is because I am single. I am not saying I want to be single my entire life, what I am saying it took me becoming single to find myself again. Let me tell you, I strayed way off course. I was a shell of myself the past year and a half. Sure I was positive (or tried to be) and yes I had lots of great discoveries, but one constant element was with me, fear. Fear of not be accepted, sure I knew who I was but I didn’t want other people to see that because what if they didn’t accept me. Well my all I can say now is that if you don’t accept me then I am glad I met you on my journey but please excuse me as I exit at the next off-ramp.
Yes, I was married before and now I am not, big deal. I don’t have to explain why to anyone, it didn’t work out, end of story. If I get close to you then sure I will tell you, but my past made me who I am today so I am not ashamed of it. It has made me stronger. If the people I meet can’t get over my past when I can, I find that funny. My past really only matters to me. I never hurt anyone and didn’t break any laws. Yes, I used to have depression pretty bad, but I got over that too. I became stronger. I have been abusive relationships and I refuse to be the victim anymore. I have a right to be who I am, love who I love and own my decisions without being ashamed, because I know how much I have judged myself and beat myself up over it that I don’t need anyone else to do it for me.
So life is fabulous right now because I am single and finding myself. Yes, I am sure one day I will find someone, because yes I do love being in a relationship, but I don’t have the time to open up to those who have already judged me.
Adairmoon 