Every so often, there seems to be periods of change that occur in my life. Change is normal and constant. It is funny, I used to think I was really good at adapting to change in my life. There has been so much of it – moves, new jobs, friendships, and changes in myself. The thought that has been on my mind is which situations do I fair better in when it comes to change and which situations do I have a harder time with the change.
Let’s talk work. Work is a funny one. Over the course of my career I have worked for larger companies that seemed to merge and separate departments on a regular basis. When I move to different areas, I look at it as an opportunity to learn new things. The one thing that always bothers me about changes in a work environment is when I am a part of a team and some of my team members aren’t being treated fairly due to change. To deal with workplace change over the years (and also partly due to my need to be in control), I move jobs or companies as it allows me to be in control of the change and feel as thought I have a say it what happens to me.
Now come the moves. Moves are interesting for me. I love to see new places, even if it is moving to a different part of the same town. I love to travel and if I could I would spend time traveling all over living from place to place. Moves are a huge change, leaving behind family and friends. My first big move was moving from one country to another and I wouldn’t change anything about it. The first year was really difficult between making friends and realizing family was not close. Would I do it again if I had to do it over? Yes. I wouldn’t change a single thing about my choice to move from one country to another and then all the mini moves within the country. I love the experience of a new place. Learning about a new city, becoming familiar with the local events and scene. Moves are one change that I actually enjoy, well minus moving the material stuff, although with each move the material stuff becomes less and less.
Changes in myself, these have been difficult but necessary. The person I was ten years ago is so different than the person I am now. Ten years ago I couldn’t deal with emotions in a healthy way. I compartmentalized them for the majority of my life, but ten years ago a change was required so that I could continue to move forward on my journey. It took lots of work, but I learned to overcome and find healthy ways to accept that my emotions help make me who I am. Recently there has been more changes in myself, realizing that there were things that needed to be done in order to become more of myself. It hurts some days and some days it is amazing. This type of change is absolutely necessary in my life so I do embrace it. It has brought so many wonderful experiences.
Now on to the most difficult, because it involves other people and their reactions are out of your hands – relationships, be it friends or romantic partners. Being involved in any type of relationship always causes some sort of change. Whether it be positive or negative. There have been so many positive changes in my life due to new relationships, even though positive there still have been roadblocks to maneuver around. On the negative side of things, I have had friendships dissolve due to jealousy or due to a perceived lack of support. Those changes are losses and there is grief involved. This type of change is difficult for me to deal with most of the time. I like to analyze, so I spend so much time trying to figure out where things went wrong or what I did wrong, when really sometimes friendships just fall apart. People have lives and people move on with their lives, it is the way things work. It is something I can’t control. All I can control in these situations is my reaction to the situation as well as how much effort I am willing to put into a friendship before enough is enough.
There are definitely situations where adapting to change is easier for me. What I have taken away from the change I have experienced and am experiencing in life, is that it is okay to feel anxious and stressed sometimes. It is okay to let go of control or the perception of being in control. Anger sometimes happens and that is alright as well. All these things are part of change. Change can also bring feelings of joy, happiness, freedom, love, and so much more. True, sometimes change is a bad thing, but overall I try to embrace change. If I didn’t accept change as part of my life and tried to resist it, then I would not be where I am today. Where I am today is a pretty good place.
Adairmoon 